Miscarriage: The Face Behind the Loss

As a doula, I try very hard not to place my personal experiences on new and expecting moms. Once in a while I will support a mom who has gone through a miscarriage. I listen to her fears, anxieties and I hear her pain, but I also hear hope and the desire to have a baby.

A miscarriage is nothing you can explain, but complete loss and loneliness. I know about the devastation of a miscarriage because I have suffered six myself. What do you say? What do you do? For me, I cried a lot. I leaned on my husband and family and friends for support and I saw a therapist. Each person offered different support, but in the end, as many of you know, you cope in your own way. I held on to strength and the hope that one day I would hold my baby.

Each loss was different; some I was further a long and some I wasn’t. Some losses were quick and others dragged on. I even held one of my babies in my hand. When I say that out loud, my whole body reacts. I get goose bumps, my heart skips a beat and I get very emotional. But do you know how many women have been in my shoes? Too many.

About 1 in 4 women have suffered a miscarriage. We are all desperate to know why and how we can fix it so we can have our baby. When you have tried for several months to have a baby and then you end up loosing it, you feel like nothing is going to get better and that the world is against you. Just like any death though, time heals. Each day gets a little better and brighter and eventually you move forward, but you never forget.

I sought out help, but we never truly understood why I was loosing baby after baby. I felt that we should keep trying even when doctors said to take a break. I now have a 17 month old son and I am 21 weeks pregnant. Both of those pregnancies were conceived by chance. When I found out I was pregnant, we decided to try progesterone, but I am not even sure that’s what made each one successful. In all of this, my anxieties haven’t gone a way. I have learned to cope by sharing my story and knowing I am not alone. You are not alone.

The face behind a loss is you and me, your neighbour, and the women who sits next to you at work. So many women and so many losses. There is no right or wrong way to deal with your loss, but if you feel like things are not getting better, that’s when it is very important to talk with your doctor. Never let the loss take over your life.

I still think about my losses every day, but now I am able to see through the despair and pain. Now I see a strong woman who has been through several challenges in her birth journey. This is my story and there are so many more out there. Maybe you have one and maybe you’ll share it one day. I hope you will. We need to unite as women and stick together as it helps us stay strong and hopeful.

Breastfeeding Support Group

Starting tomorrow and every Tuesday, I will be offering breastfeeding support from 11AM – 12PM at the new Fiddleheads store off of Larry Uteck.

As a doula and a mother, I know the importance of support, guidance and a listening ear. I encourage you to come talk with me and other moms; share your stories and tips. Maybe you just want to get out of the house or you need a good laugh. Whatever the reason, I can’t wait to meet you! Everyone is welcome.

For more information, visit the Fiddleheads website.

Postpartum Depression

I wanted to do a quick blog on postpartum depression – it is very serious and if you or someone you know is suffering from PD, there are answers. The IWK’s program is called Reproductive Mental Health and mom’s can self-refer. Phone 464-4110 and get in to see someone asap. Why suffer when you can get help right away!

IWK will offer home births starting Monday, September 23

Would you love a home birth? Well, now you can in the HRM area…below is a message from Jocelyn Vine, VP, Patient Care, IWK Health Centre:

The IWK Health Centre is pleased to announce that the IWK Community Midwives will begin to re offer the option of Home Birth with eligible mothers and families within the Halifax Region beginning Monday, September 23, 2013.

Strong support and financial funding from the provincial government have helped to build an incredible team of midwives who offer care with families in HRM who desire midwifery maternity care.

To date the IWK Health Centre has successfully recruited four full time midwives and one part time. This dedicated team of midwives work collaboratively with family practice physicians and obstetricians both within the community and the IWK Health Center, providing primary maternity care to low risk patients. The team works under the direction of Theresa Pickart, Clinical Leader for Midwifery Services at the IWK. Click here to read more about our midwives or to learn more about Midwifery services at the IWK.

Helping Hands Doula is now a registered business!

In the Winter of 2013, I made the decision to take the Birth and Postpartum Doula workshops through DONA International and I have never looked back. I have participated in several births and I recently decided to open my own business, Helping Hands Doula. I just registered my business with the Registry of Joint Stock Companies and today I just received all my marketing material in the mail.

This is an exciting time for me because I am doing something I love – supporting families during the most exciting yet scariest time in a parent’s life. As I have taken on this new role, I am confident, supportive, but always learning. I am researching, reading and keeping up with all the facts and trends of the labour journey.

My website is still a work in progress. I am busy mother and wife who works part-time. If you are looking for more information regarding my services, please contact me at 902-443-7226 or by email at laura@helpinghandsdoula.ca. Or leave your information below. I am excited to meet you!